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Comparative analysis of World Religious Philosophies


Taoism:
  • Shit happens.
  • If you can shit, it isn't shit.
  • Shit happens, so flow with it.

  • Hare Krishna:
  • Shit Happens, Rama Rama Ding Ding.
  • She-it happens, She-it happens, happens, happens,
  • she-it, she-it... (Repeat until you become one with she-it)
  • Please this flower and buy our shit.

  • Confucianism:
  • Confucious say, "Shit happens".
  • Confucious says, "If shit has to happen, let it happen PROPERLY."

  • Buddhism:
  • If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
  • If shit happens, it isn't really happening TO anyone.
  • Shit will happen again to you next time.

  • 7th Day Adventism:
  • Shit happens on Saturdays.

  • Hinduism:
  • I've seen this shit before.
  • This shit is not a religion, it is the way of life.
  • This shit happening IS you.

  • Protestantism:
  • If shit happens, it happens to someone else.
  • If shit happens, praise the lord for it!

  • Calvinism:
  • Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.

  • Lutheranism:
  • Shit happens, but as long as you're sorry, it's OK.

  • Anglicanism:
  • It's true, shit does happen -- but only to Lutherans.

  • Catholicism:
  • If shit happens, you deserved it.
  • You were born shit, you are shit, and you will die shit.

  • Charismatic Catholicism:
  • Shit is happening because you deserve it, but we love you anyway.

  • Judaism:
  • Why does shit always happen to US?
  • Why does shit always happen just before closing the deal?

  • Islam:
  • If this shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
  • If shit happens, take a hostage.
  • We don't take any shit.

  • New Age:
  • That's not shit, it's feldspar.
  • A firm shit does not happen to me.
  • This isn't shit if I really believe it's chocolate.
  • I create my own shit.
  • If shit happens, honor it and share it.
  • Sheeeeeeeeeeit!
  • Were all part of the same shit.
  • For $300, we can help you get in touch with your inner shit.

  • Jehovah's Witnesses:
  • No shit happens until Armaggedon.
  • There is only a limited amount of good shit.
  • Knock Knock, "Shit Happens."
  • Here, we insist you take our shit.
  • Shit happens door to door.
  • Let us in and we will tell you why shit happens

  • Atheism:
  • I don't believe this shit.
  • It looks and smells like shit, so I'm damned if I'm going to taste it.
  • Shit doesn't happen. Shit is dead.
  • No shit!

  • Agnosticism:
  • It looks and smells like shit, but I haven't tasted it, so
  • I'm not sure whether its shit or not.
  • What is this shit?!
  • How can we KNOW if shit happens?
  • You can't prove any of this shit

  • Mormonism:
  • If shit happens, shun it.
  • Excrement happens (you can't say shit in Utah)
  • Hey, there's more shit over here!
  • Our shit is better than your shit.
  • Shit happens again & again & again ...
  • Pay us 10% and we will tell you how shit happens

  • Baptist:
  • You are shitting all wrong, and you'll be punished for it.
  • We'll wash the shit right off you.

  • Voodoo:
  • Shit doesn't just happen -- somebody dumped it on you.
  • Let's stick some pins in this shit!
  • This shit's gonna get you

  • Orthodox:
  • St. Sergius found his faith in deep shit.

  • Shintoism:
  • You inherit the shit of your ancestors.

  • Stoicism:
  • This shit is good for me.

  • Mysticism:
  • This is really weird shit.

  • Satanism:
  • We hope bad shit happens to all of you.
  • We will make your shit happen.

  • Scientology:
  • All this happens to be shit.
  • If you leave us, bad shit will happen to you.

  • Shamanism:
  • Whoaa...Holy Shit!
  • Other "Shit Happens" links:


    Comparative Analysis of World Religious Philosophies
    Shit Happens Philosophy for Intelectuals
    Everything connected with shit happens- kanibals, emloyees, employers, kapitalists....
    How Shit Happens